Tag: dating

The I am going ghost type: (actually wanted to use it for my book)

Oh, I’m sure we all know that one guy /girl who suddenly went ghost although you thought everything worked out so far. Could be that this happend after your thirst date or after a few months. If it happened after just 1 date who cares, but when you are seriously dating or are in a relationship then that’s a whole different story.
I am not lying when I am telling you that this happened to me after 5 months of dating. Yes, 5 months. Everything went well or that was what I believed. We went on dates, I met his friends and his brothers, and we always had fun when we were together. His birthday at that time came up and It was strange that I was not invited. His best friends called me and asked where I was and if something happened, but I could not answer since I had no clue what was going on either. We did meet up again afterwards and I gave him a present (I know, again stupid me) and we celebrated to make up for it. We parted that weekend making plans to drive to another place to do some sightseeing but the day on that promised date he never called nor texted me. The only thing I got a week later was an apology from his best friend. No, not from him, from his best friend and I never heard from him again.

What did I do wrong?
Nothing. Yeah, I am a little bit crazy but who is normal anyway. On a serious note though: no, you are not at fault. Sometimes people just go ghost because they cannot handle the situation and they don’t see a reason in telling you why the end it. But mainly they don’t want to hurt you by telling you the truth. Which would be: I don’t want to be with YOU.
we all know that we will keep texting and calling and ask ourselves for days or weeks if we did something wrong.

What we should do!
Move on and delete his number. I am not talking about him being busy and not getting back at you for 3 days because he told you so, no we are talking about the real “I am going ghost types”. The ones who will never text or call you back and explain why they dumped you. The only thing you will do now is getting rid of the pictures you might took together, delete his number and the chat and enjoy a great movie with your girls or go and watch your favorite football team with your crew, because life is too short. That situation proved how less they care about you and your feelings and that they simply didn’t want to be together with you. T.H.

Dating scripts

Traditional dating scripts lead to the fact that our society saw dating and relationships in a stereotypical way until now. It is slowly changing but we still see gender differences in what women and men want based on those scripts. Even now it is required that women should act like they are hard to get, while men are the hunters who lead the game.

Let’s take a look at a date between 2 individuals. What do you expect a woman to do? What about the guy? Researchers found out that based on those traditional scripts a woman should act reactive while a man should act proactive. Means, a man should initiate a date and ask a woman out, as well as making the first move and being the dominated part. On the other hand, you have the woman who should dress up nicely, be passive and follow the men’s lead as well as stopping him from going to far on the first date. (The Social Psychology of Attraction& Romantic Relationships…by Madeleine A. Fugére;…)
Those studies were conducted during the 80s and 90s and we have seen a change in todays society. It is still more typical to get asked out by him first and him planning the date, but women are way more confident these days and approach the opposite or same sex faster. A trend shows that western men are more likely to show more emotions and also have less issues in dealing with confident women.
Since we are living in the age of speed dating, group dates and finding someone over social media those scripts become more regulating.
P.s:
Studies showed that men are more romantic than women and also tend to say “I love you” first as well as usually being more traditional in their beliefs. T.H.