It doesn’t matter if your partner cheated on
ce or a few times. It will still make you feel disappointed, sad and angry. You will ask yourself if you did something wrong. Were you a horrible partner? Did you not show enough love? Did they stop loving you? Were you too needy and nagging? The questions above will pop up in your head and we often begin to blame ourselves for someone else’s actions. But you know what? Stop thinking too much about it and move on. Get out of that toxic relationship and find yourself someone who loves themselves as much as they would love you.Some of you will now say: “It’s not that easy you don’t know what you are talking about”.
Well yes, I do. My first boyfriend cheated as well and hell yes, I was angry and sad, but I loved myself too much to stay in that relationship, so after I lost so much time with him I ended it. I knew he did not feel any remorse and that he would eventually hurt me again if I stayed, see the problem wasn’t with me it was with himself and I couldn’t change that. Neither did I wanted to, since I was still in my early 20s and I am sure he was not the right person for me nor was I the right person for him.
I’m not saying that cheating is good but sometimes there is more to it and you need to dig deeper. Yes, sometimes a partner cheats because they really don’t love you and they were lying to get into your pants. And sometimes although it’s not an excuse they will get wasted and wake up with someone else. But there are a lot of people who will still cheat although they have an awesome partner, a magnificent home, a career and maybe even beautiful and smart kids. I can imagine that this way of cheating though is the worst thing.
I had that conversation with a friend of mine since cheating was the reason for his divorce. He didn’t cheat because he didn’t love his children anymore or had a problem with his wife. He was simply not happy with himself. He tried to find that missing piece to feel completed and all his past issues were just dragged along without solving it. To compensate for that feeling of “lost” he searched for someone else to fill the void in his heart. All the mistakes didn’t change his chaotic state and only hurt himself and the people closest to him. He needed to grow up and find his inner peace first, so he could start a healthy relationship.
I don’t recommend staying with someone who cheated and the faster you move on the better but its always good to look behind the scene to understand another person and seeing problems from a different perspective. There are still many people who won’t cheat since they love and respect themselves and expect that their future partner will do the same thing.
Some people may not like it but it’s better to ask about a person’s past to understand where they are coming from but also to find out how they are thinking and if they have changed. A person who has cheated and is still stuck in the past and as not matured or changed his/her values will likely cheat again. It’s impossible to look at another person’s eyes and be like: “Yep they won’t do it”. But through questions and getting to know someone before you get into a serious relationship you can minimize the chances of finding someone who is unfaithful. So, keep your eyes wide open.